the library

Clank. Clank. Clonk. (Sound of a little boy tripping over a toy in the next room.) I roll over and rip my burning tired eyes open to look at the clock. Oliver is up an hour early. I pretend that I am asleep so that Justin will tend to him. Then pitter patter Oliver creeps into our room and asks Justin for a "jel-yee sanditch, pease daa-ee pitty peeeaaasse" I tell Oliver to get back in bed. Justin tells me that he will get up with him. I try to go back to sleep. My head is pounding. Sleep ain't happenin. I get up and get in the shower with Justin. Oliver is eating his jelly sandwich and watching cartoons. I take a shower and Justin leaves for work. I finish getting ready and get the boys ready. Today, we are walking to the library for "Mommy and Me" time. I have been tired of being cooped up in our house. With only one vehicle, trips to anywhere are rare and kind of a big deal. (Not to mention gas prices. Don't get me started on that one.) So, I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to get out and meet some new people. I check the weather. 59 degrees. Chilly. Slight chance of rain. They didn't even give a percentage, so I doubt that it will rain. I get the boys dressed in their "nice but not too nice, I don't want to look like we are trying to hard outfits". I was actually pretty excited because both Oliver and I got to wear new thin sweaters for the first time. Oliver starts crying because he wants to watch Backyardigans. I try to tell him, hey we are going to play with other kids at the library and get new books and a movie! He cries for the first block of our walk. Insists on trading sippy cups with Liam. We walk to the library. About 13 blocks to the library. I am dripping in sweat by the time we get there. Oliver ended up riding on top of the stroller by the end of the trip. I get there 5 minutes late, due to Oliver's tantrum and requests to walk and be held. I get the boys out of the double stroller and put it in the library. Get the boys and their sippy cups and head down the stairs. I walk in the kids section and 4 women and their kids all turn and look at us. I feel nervous and utter something along the lines of "better late than never". I try to get Oliver to come and play. "I don't wan-it, momma." He sits on the tiny couch and looks at a puzzle. I take Liam and try to do the motions to the dance that the other kids are doing. All of these women are sitting in a perfect little half circle with their kids in their "we don't care how GOOD we look outfits" behaving and having fun. Liam is trying with all that he has to escape my death grip and get to Oliver. I look over to Oliver only to discover that he has dumped about 9 of the puzzles out on the floor. I leave the "circle" and start putting back together puzzles. After I had given Oliver a very firm hand spanking. Liam starts ripping Clifford the Big Red Dog books off of the shelf. Then 2 of the other kids come over and start taking the puzzles apart. The moms are quick to retrieve them. Liam climbs onto the couch and falls off on his head. I am ready to cry, spank, scream, pass out, and leave. I get the puzzles fixed and put the books back in all the wrong places I am sure. We dance with scarves. Oliver sits and pouts. Then, we start a craft. Alright, this should work. Oliver comes over to look but quickly changes his mind. Liam does the craft. Oliver finds a soda bottle with rice and stuff in it for shaking. He wants it opened. I show him how it works. "Come on Momma, open it." And he gets mad and goes back to the couch. I finish the craft with Liam. Check on Oliver, he is wandering around. Okay. Then, we get out the bubble blower and sing twinkle twinkle little star. The kids are happily clapping and singing and catching bubbles. Like in a movie, no joke. Sweet! These are two of Oliver's favorite things! He comes and gets me, "Come on Momma wets go" He goes up and tries to wrestle the bubble blower from the leader lady. I am scolding him. He starts crying and runs to me. I put Liam down, he plays and watches the bubbles. Oliver begs me for the bubble blower. I am wondering how much longer I am going to be stuck in this place. I can feel the sweat running down my back. The lady sings the goodbye song. We pick out some books and a movie. I load the kids up in the stroller and walk outside to the rain. Great. I hoof it home. Pushing the stroller bus 13 blocks and every time I turn the wheels, they are stuck pulling in that direction. Oliver is begging for his movie to be opened. I take it away from him. I am almost home when Oliver finally quit whining. I am ready to... well I don't know what, but I am mad, hot, sweaty, embarrassed, concerned... a long list of things. I take the boys inside and put them in their beds. Oliver cries. Liam goes right to sleep. I strip off my sweaty clothes and take a deep breath. Yep, my kid is a total brat. Now what. And poor Liam never gets to enjoy anything, because Oliver is getting into trouble left and right. I hope that this is a 2 year old phase. I am going back to the library for some parenting books, only this time, I am going alone.