Wednesday, October 31, 2007

They're Creepy and They're Cooky...

The ghosts and goblins were out in full force tonight! We had a lovely little Halloween. I am realizing just how fast time goes. It just seems like yesterday, that Oliver had his first's crazy I tell ya...


Monday, October 29, 2007

Indy Here We Come!

We went on a church trip this past weekend. We went to the Children's Museum and the Castleton Mall. We had a blast! Oliver loved the Children's Museum. We also went to Build-A-Bear. He made a monkey and Liam made a triceratops.

It was an amazing thing watching Oliver with other kids his age and older. It was hard to watch him get picked on. I never wanted to hurt little kids. But I did that day. Motherly instincts? Or being overprotective? Either way, I was ready to throw down...

It was bittersweet. He is so big and time has gone so fast. It made me happy to see him growing up. But it made me sad to think that he is not my baby anymore.

But Liam is all baby. I had him in Snugli all day. He was a good baby.
Our hotel room was nice. I could have lived there. There was also a gift basket from our pastor's wife. It was such a nice surprise!
We went to a different church and I felt like the pastor was talking directly to me. It was awesome to see God prepare for us, when we had no clue what He was doing.

All in all, an excellent weekend. Exhausting and Excellent.

I just wish that my pastor and his family could have enjoyed it also. Rather than working and stressing out...
P.S. Oliver was slightly freightened of the dinosaurs. As you can tell by the last photo...

Friday, October 26, 2007


I should so be in bed right now.

I can't turn off my mind tonight.

I am not really thinking about anything in particular.

I am just meandering throughout.

I am lonely.

I wish that you were here.

I want you to sleep when the sun is down, like me.

I spend my nights alone.

I lay on my stomach, legs spread, taking up the whole bed, and...

I wish you were there to squish me into one corner of the mattress.

I wonder when things will change.

I trust that He knows what He's doing.

I don't like waiting, but...

I wait.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Danforth for Ya!

So much for 30 days straight. I swear, I have zero self-discipline!

I am reading a really good book right now. "I Dare You" by William H Danforth. It is good. Read it if you can.

"I Dare You, young mother, to make your life a masterpiece upon which that little family of yours can build. Strong women bring forth strong men." W.H. Danforth

Think about just how huge the responsibility of raising children actually is. We are molding the future with our children. I think I have really downplayed my value as a mother. I always feel like I sold out. Took the typical road. Gave up my dreams and settled for reality. Not the case. Being a mother is the most difficult thing that I have ever done. I want to be the very best mother that I can be. As an artist, time will come. My life is long. There are phases. I will continue to make art, while inspiring my children to do the same. Create. If not art, then something. Raising my boys will be my lifelong task, that will become my lifelong masterpiece.

He inspires me.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tuesday, October 9, 2007


His costume is all finished. I think he looks pretty handsome, if I do say so myself. I need to make a little bit bigger hat. But I have some time.
Oh and the Cowboys won last night by a hair! I thought Buffalo was going to take it for a second there...wheeeeh. That was close.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Raw and Real

Okay...I have been thinking about divorce.
(Not for myself...if he wants out, he will have to kill me...)

What constitutes getting a divorce? If a woman does not keep her house to the standard that her husband holds for her, does he have the right? If a man does not earn the income that a woman insists is necessary for her satisfaction with life, does that give her the right? If a man is not satisfied intimately by his partner, does that give him the right? If a woman is not satisfied with the level of communication between her and her partner, does that give her the right?

It is easy to blame shift. "I would not have been looking if they would have satisfied my needs in the first place." "I was pushed to misery and frustration and had to find a release, so I did this..." Does someone else doing wrong, make it okay for the partner to do wrong?

Perhaps we should try to COMMUNICATE. If you are unhappy with something. Talk about it, openly and honestly. Don't sugarcoat things. Be raw and real.

I know a couple that are possibly facing that situation. Divorce is huge. It played a larger role in my childhood than I give it credit for. It scars people and does things and causes pain that can't be undone. It should not be a decision made on a whim. It should not happen. But if it does, make sure that you have exhausted every single avenue of possible solutions first. The grass always looks greener on the other side. But that grass might have issues that are unseen to the naked eye.

My point here...THINK about it first. TRY everything under the sun to fix the marriage. REMEMBER why you married the person in the first place. FOCUS on the positive attributes of that person, not the negative. You made a VOW to GOD and you shouldn't take that lightly. And if there are kids...don't be selfish. LOVE does what is best for THE ONE LOVED. Wake up and open your eyes. What you are doing is REAL.


Oliver went back to the ENT guy today. He is looking better. They took a culture of his ear. We will know more on Wed...

That is about all that I did today. Tend to chillins... Well. I don't feel like blogging. I just am because I said I would. So I am gonna go.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Rock On!

I am sitting here trying to think of something profound to write down...

...I am not a woman of wisdom apparently.

So, I will just give a rundown of my night. We ate out with Justin's family. And we ate GOOD! His parents took us out to West Point Steakhouse. mmmmmm steak... Oliver likes catfish also. I was sitting at the table just watching all of us. I realized how lucky we are to have a family like this. Lucky and blessed. Needless to say, I ate entirely too much. But it was good. After dinner my mother-in-law had to go to the ER. Oliver had poked her in the eye and it was still hurting. Yep, she has an abrasion on her eye and has to keep salve and a patch on it. Way to go my son. Injuring his grandparents already. It was a busy night.

Today, the boys slept in until 9:30! Rock On! So I am feeling well rested and ready for the day.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

I Barfed On My Blog...

Okay, the pity party is over. I was just so "full" of stuff, I had to puke it somewhere, to someone... So my faithful few, you were the lucky ones that had to listen to me...Thanks to everyone that sent me helpful words of encouragement. I truly needed and appreciated them...

Once I finally quit feeling sorry for myself, I cleaned my house and my mom helped me re-arrange my living room on her lunch break. I like that. My room and my mom helping me. Moms are pretty awesome aren't they...I finished most of the things on my list. A rather productive day all in all. Yet, here I sit, still feeling, "full" and empty at the same time. Emotionally overflowing and mentally empty. Just empty.

To my husband, that I know will be reading this while he is at work, I miss you...I do. I really miss you. I know that this isn't the right place or time to tell you all of this... but I miss you. I miss the way you were just holding me close while we watched tv tonight. I miss talking in our own language. You haven't done that in a while. I miss sleeping in your arms. I miss the way you always steal all the blankets but the sheet. I miss conversations in the car to and from Terre Haute. I miss talking until we fell asleep. I miss the sound of your laugh. I miss wrestling with you, even though I would always heel you in the thigh. I even miss you trying to lick my nostrils...I never thought I would miss that. I miss doing laundry at the Courtesy, when it was "us". I miss the little wrinkles around your eyes when you smile. I miss.................. you.

(insert big sigh here...)

Trying to cheer myself up today. The Bible commands us to Rejoice! and I can't muster up a smile today. I just feel guilty and ashamed of myself...

I found out last night that my husband has been feeling really stretched. He has worked like 110 hours in 15 days. And he has helped me out around the house. I have no excuses. I should keep my house better. I should have dinner ready. I should be there to help him out. I am the help mate! Shoulda Coulda Woulda... I WILL. Do better.

I also talked a friend of mine into getting her hair cut. The stylist did a crummy job and now, she is unhappy. I feel like I pushed or pressured her into it. And now, she will be feeling down for a while until she gets used to it or it grows back. I just wish I would have kept my big trap shut.

I am really struggling today. Please Lord, if you are reading my blog today... :) Give me what I need to make today, what you intended it to be for me. If I am supposed to be feeling this way, just show me what I need to do to fix these issues. I don't want Justin to be unhappy. I never meant to make Annie do something she was uncomfortable with doing. I feel like a failure today. An F- for me... my cat is throwing up, I must go...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Nothing like romance!

This is my project from today... I made this (on commission) for my step-dad for his anniversary for my mom.

Trees planted next to each other for life... cheesy, I know.

Monday, October 1, 2007

It is FOOTBALL Season!

I want to make Liam a football costume for Halloween. Any ideas on how to do this? This is my best idea... Please help...I am really unsure how to figure out measurements. Ideas...I need ideas!!! Tips!!! Hints!!!

Simon Says...act like annie!

A gal pal of mine really made my night last night. She is without a doubt one of the most thoughtful people that I know. She surprised with me with a bag of goodies for my family. And a photo album that I had been wanting SO bad!

I realized that there aren't enough people like her in the world. So, today, try to do something nice for someone else. just because.