Tuesday, April 1, 2014

All the earth

Psalm 66:1-4 Shout joyfully to God, all the earth; Sing the glory of His name; Make His praise glorious. Say to God, "How awesome are Thy works! Because of the greatness of Thy power Thine enemies will give feigned obedience to Thee. "All the earth will worship Thee, and will sing praises to Thee; They will sing praises to Thy name." All the earth. Every person, creature, plant, stone, and tree... All the earth. We knew that Ramona was going to die. She has been a part of our family for 9 years. Her love, loyalty, and patience will never be forgotten. She was an amazing dog and dearly loved. So, when my children asked me if she would be in Heaven, I had to answer them honestly. "I don't know." You see the Bible doesn't say whether or not animals go to Heaven. Throughout our discussion on this topic, my son, Liam, responded "But she was a good dog! She should get to go to Heaven." To which my older son responded, "Being good doesn't get you into Heaven Liam, it is whether or not you know Jesus." And you know what, he is right. I don't think animals are necessarily good or bad. In the same way that a tree isn't good or bad. It just is. I think the same is true for animals. I think they are a reflection of environment mostly. I don't think squirrels are good or bad... or spiders either. Even though I can't stand spiders. (((shudder))) Well, I obviously think Ramona was a "good" dog. I think she is a reflection of the love bestowed upon her. I think she was put on earth for our enjoyment. And she successfully fulfilled her purpose. So, will she be in Heaven? I think so. Because of Psalm 66: 1-4. All the earth will praise Him. When I was talking to the kids, I asked them, "Can you praise someone that you don't know? What about someone that you don't love?" No. You can't. And if all the earth will praise Him, I think that means that it will all be there. Every stone that cries out. Every tree that claps its hands. "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12 When I was considering all of this, I thought it sounded ridiculous. Every single dandelion that I mow over... every drop of water... every cricket... It is too much! And the thought hit me so profoundly, that I stopped right where I was. "Heaven is big enough." Heaven is beyond my imagination. It is more than I can comprehend. It is big enough. More than big enough.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Split.

Grief really doesn't pick favorites. He holds no contests. Pain is real and tears are wet. When you are in the moment of despair. When the oxygen pulls at your heart, between heavy sobs, and the pressure is so great that you think that... just maybe... it might actually break. Split. Into two jagged fragments... still beating. But never the same. That grief is something that we all share. That pain. That shattering sob. And we don't unite in it. We judge in it. We harbor it. And we lock ourselves away, in that dark spot. Where the pain actually feels good in an addictive kind of way. Grief comes in all kinds of ways. He looks different every time. He parades around loudly, shouting from the pinnacle of disaster. Sometimes, he slides in through the back door and hides in corners where nobody knows he is there... except for you. He comes clothed in panic, shame, despair, regret, and anger. He whispers the things we can't say out loud. Grief isn't wrong. But I think, if we stay there. If we choose to live there. He can become a thief of the life that he just ransacked.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Kindergarten

First of all, that is a weird word...

Anyway, Oliver starts kindergarten tomorrow. And I am literally crying right now.... have been crying off and on for 2 days. I am pathetic. So, I decided to whip up a Top 10 list...

Top 10 Things NOT to do when your kid is going to kindergarten!

1. Do NOT go in and lay in bed with them just to watch them sleep. Do Not rub their hair softly. Do NOT talk to them about how much you are going to miss them everyday even though they can't hear you speaking. Do NOT start sobbing and snotting everywhere and wipe you nose on their pillow.

2. Do NOT spend hours gazing and fawning over old scrapbooks and photo albums of them when they were babies. Do NOT explain to them what you thought the first time you laid eyes on them. Do NOT relive the day they were born and try to figure out how they are old enough to go to school all day.

3. Do NOT try to trick yourself into thinking that summer will last forever. Do NOT think that if you ignore the fact that school is around the corner, it won't actually rear it's ugly little head. Because it happens, quick.

4. Do NOT take them shoe shopping only to realize that you have been shamming their little feet into shoes that are not 1, but 2 sizes too small! Then, do NOT be completely mystified by the fact that your children have indeed managed to GROW. Do NOT immediately feel saddened by the fact that you missed out on getting them new shoes for an entire shoe size!

5. Do NOT continue your ride on the guilty mom express by agonizing over the lost opportunities to make memories, play games, and tickle that you squandered while cooking, folding laundry, or coughfacebook,pinterest,bloggercough doing other frivolous activities.

6. Do NOT think about the fact that you are going to miss all of those funny phrases that they say so randomly. Like out of nowhere in the van today Oliver tells me that an elephant should go to the city pool and drink it all up if he is thirsty. Or hearing them sing the wrong words to lyrics in a song. Or getting kisses for nothing. Or hiding in the house just to scare the crap out of them when I am bored. Or dancing in the living room. Or singing him to sleep at naptime... ugh, I am bawling. again.

7. Do NOT remember your first day of kindergarten. Do NOT remember the nervous anxiety that swallowed me whole when I realized that my mom was leaving. Do NOT remember that despite how nice Mrs. Hiatt was, I still felt so alone... and scared. Do NOT remember how minutes lasted for hours. Do NOT remember feeling so insignificant.

8. Do NOT go through their closet and pull out all of the old clothes that are too small and then be crushed by the fact that this will only happen again and again. Growing and growing. Baby. Toddler. Preschooler. Elementary... Do NOT wish that you could just freeze time right here, right now.

9. Do NOT go into their room to tuck them in goodnight. Do NOT let the following happen to you... I walk into the boys' room and sit down on Oliver's bed. I lean down and give him a kiss. "I love you buddy." "I love you too Momma." Then he gently picks up a few strands of my hair as I am leaning over his face; my hair spread around us like a little curtain. He begins to twirl my hair as he usually does. He looks up at me, with a slight smile, but still a little worry in his eyes. "Momma, are ya gunna miss me?" Tears instantly flood my eyes. I can't let him see me upset. I fight them. "yeah" I reply in small whisper. He knows that I am sad. "Me too Momma... me too." I give him a big hug. Tickle him. And bolt for the door.

10. Do NOT blink. This is the only first day of kindergarten that they are going to get. This is the first day of a new era. Make it big! Make it fun! Make it theirs! To hold onto and remember 24 years later when their kids are going to school... Do NOT blink, it will be here before we know it.

Best of luck to all the mommas out there. Drink a cup of coffee and try to really be happy. We are blessed. God is good.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Put the baby to bed.

I have this habit of buying junk at yard sales. Like junk. Stuff that looks like it should be in a dumpster. Justin usually gives me the look. But alas, I pay my .25 and move on. Shamming it into the van. I always have the best of intentions. Sometimes, it just takes me a little while to see the plan through.




But I did it. I bought each of these for a quarter. The little "kitchen" or basic stand was a nasty burgundy color. A little paint, velcro, and fabric and Viola! The cradle was a dirty dirty dirty supposed to white about 5 years ago. Spraypaint, little mattress, quilt, and pillow and now Eliza can put the baby to bed. .50 isn't too bad... I used stuff from my stash for all the rest.

Yet another dress for loulou.

I really liked this dress from Old Navy. But, I don't want to spend money. And it is only available in the big girl sizes. And it is long sleeved. So, I thought about it and decided to try to make something similar. I usually don't sew with jersey knit. It wasn't that bad really. I wanted it to be more empire waist than it turned out. But, it will do the trick. I am really on a red, white, blue, and yellow kick. I might add a fabric flower to this one. Not sure yet. I have another dress that I made... hmmm, let me see if I took any photos of it.




Well, you are in luck! I did take some photos. I just lopped off the top of a t-shirt and attached the skirt to it. The skirt was just a basic gathered tiered skirt. Nothing fancy. But I love it!


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Come on Summer...






Good gracious I wish warm weather would makes it way here. I enjoy winter... for the first few weeks. Then, I am ready for my 70 degree weather again. So, I thought I would do a little sweet summertime sewing, to hopefully induce Spring. I made 2 of these outfits. One for Eliza and one for a new baby named Eden. (I love that name!) I also made matching bloomers. The other photos are the rest of the baby shower gift that I made. I have really enjoyed getting back to my sewing. I think I am going to make a giant to-do list. Because I am a list maker. But, I only make lists because I love to cross things off of them.

Other things, I was talking with Oliver and Liam tonight at bedtime. It started to storm and thunder and they were frightened. So, I went into their room. We talked about rain, lightning, and thunder. Oliver looked at me and said, "God just talks and raises his hands and makes tornadoes and storms, right momma?" I was blown away. "Yes, Oliver that is right. How did you know that?" "I just knowed, Momma." Then we were talking about how God is perfect and the great creator. And we are sinners. We discussed what sin is. We talked about the things that we do that are wrong. We talked about how that sin keeps us from being able to be with God, because He is perfect. We talked about how Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins. And that if we believe that Jesus is the son of God, and He died on the cross for our sins, and we say we are sorry and ask God to forgive us for our sins, then we can go to Heaven someday. We talked about how much Jesus loves us. And how mean the people were to Jesus. We talked about how we get to Heaven and where Heaven is. Oliver asked if God colored outside the lines. Liam asked if God made skateboards. We talked about how we will all be together with God someday in Heaven. And Oliver said, "Momma, Jesus will scoop us up in his arms out of the stream. But there's no alligators or crocodiles in the water. And he will carry us up to Heaven." I don't know what stream he is talking about. But I love the image... of my Saviour scooping me up. Cradling my children. Taking us out of this world. I see myself resting my head on his chest. Feet dangling. And He protects me. I want my Jesus to carry me everyday. And I am so thankful for my little boy giving me a gentle reminder of the joy that exists in the arms of Christ. God teaches me so much just through the act of being a mother.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I'm ticked.


"I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."
Barack Obama

Check out this link:
Lisa Harris

“There was a leg and foot in my forceps, and a ‘thump, thump’ in my abdomen. Instantly, tears were streaming from my eyes.” So writes abortionist Lisa Harris in a disturbing article relating her experiences as an abortionist, particularly her anguished and “brutally visceral” experience of dismembering an 18 week gestation unborn child, while 18 weeks pregnant herself.

This makes me cry.
Because I am angry.
Because I am sad.
Because I cannot and refuse to sit back and let this continue to go on.

If you think you can handle it, check out this website,
abortion

The information here brought me to tears. And don't ignore it because it is uncomfortable. This is real life people. And it is time to buck up and take a look at what we are doing!




I am sickened by the selfishness of modern women. And the audacity of the excuses that we call men that stand by encourage such behavior. Our nation, this world, is a pathetic excuse. And I know that God will judge our actions. And there is mighty army of murdered unborn babies that will want to hear our "reasons" our "rights"... What about their "rights"?

Luke 17:1-2

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones


We need more people like this young girl.

And for all we know, we could have had thousands more, and they could have just been aborted. These babies have a story. They have skills, talents, and a purpose. And we are ripping (literally) all of their potential away from them.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Kids Card

Lovely Branches Green 5x7 folded card
Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Power.


Christmas music is usually light.
Christmas music is usually happy.
Christmas music is usually jolly.

This Christmas song is powerful.
This Christmas song is heavy.
This Christmas song gives me goosebumps.

Christmas is a jolly time.
But it is a serious time as well.
It is when our Saviour was born, only to die for sins.

When you think of the weight of that moment.
The moment that Christ took His first breath in a manger.
The moment the world changed.

It is powerful.
All of this time, God knowingly gave us His son.
Because of His love for us.

Mary, exhausted, gazing at her newborn son.
Fearful for the life that lay before Him.
Surrendered to be a servant to her God, no matter the cost.

This Christmas I want to remember what the true meaning of this holiday season is.