Wednesday, May 21, 2008

907 North Street

The first address I ever memorized. We walked up the stairs and I heard Mom whisper to Dad, “If you get me this house, I will love you forever.” I am excited to see her so excited. This is bigger than our last house. In my room, I used to talk to a dog in our neighbors back yard. It was in a fence and I felt sorry for it. I used to have nightmares that the dog was the Devil and would get into my room. I would wake up sweaty and nervous. The walk-in closets had footmarks and scuffs on the walls. The wooden rod was severely bowed in the center. I remember the clumsy feeling I got as I climbed the wall and slung myself over and around the wooden rod in the closet. Windy and I would skin the closet of all clothes and hangers and pretend to be acrobats. I left my closet light on at night. This is when I first began to be afraid of the dark. Dad and Windy would watch scary movies and I never really wanted to. But I did in an effort to please my father. This is when I first noticed his favoritism. I walk out of the kitchen screen door onto the back porch. Blankets and sheets are tied to the wrought iron posts. A giant fort awaits me. Mom is inside with our Barbies. She plays with us and ignores the world. I am glad to have her attention. Mrs. Anne-Marie Day is our neighbor. She hides Easter eggs and we hunt around her porcelain clad home. We get hungry and she offers us crackers and butter. I gleefully accept. I know she enjoys the company, but I can tell she has tired of hiding the eggs. We go home. Uncle Donnie and some people are at the house. Windy and I are sent upstairs. She runs downstairs to go the restroom. I instruct her to hurry, we are playing. I hear her scream. I think she is laughing at first. I come downstairs and she is on the blue sectional couch. She is crying uncontrollably. Uncle Donnie suggests we take her to the doctor as he and his friends walk out of the front door. Mom and Dad wait a while. I am concerned. Windy broke her arm. She got a butter knife stuck down her cast. She kept that cast for years. It smelled horribly. She liked the attention that got with her broken arm. I was jealous, again. Windy can’t get her cast wet. I make Mom give me a bath in the sink too. We only had a shower there. Windy and I used to plug the drain with a washrag to get a couple of inches of water to play in in the shower. It was a small bathroom that attached to Mom and Dad’s bedroom. I pretended to be asleep so that Dad would carry me to bed. Windy was already in bed. Mom and Dad went into their bedroom and decided to leave me on the couch. I yell “cockadoodledoo” as I pretend to wake them up barging into their room. Mom was changing her clothes and Dad was in his underwear lying on the corner of the bed. I felt awkward and embarrassed. They carried me to bed. I remember watching Mom put on her make-up. Her lighter would flicker as she used it to soften her eyebrow pencil with its flame. I tell her she looks better without it. She looks flattered and ignores my advice. My Dad still uses that black and gold bedroom suite from Hoffa’s Rent to Own, over 20 years later. I was aware of popularity. I remember hearing the boys in Mrs. Leath’s first grade class talk about chasing Brooke at recess. I wished they would chase me. I got in trouble for flipping Josh Swanson off. I had a band-aid on my middle finger and I showed it to him. I didn’t know I was “flipping him off.” I cried. I never liked getting into trouble. Josh Jones would get spanked all the time at school. It didn’t bother him. The first birthday party that I remember took place in the dining room. At my party, we play games like pin the tail on the donkey and we have an ice cream eating contest. I win the ice cream eating contest, but I give my prize to T.J Royston. He was my first boyfriend. I enjoy having everyone’s attention on me. Brandy Wesley accidentally hits me in the eye with a party favor. Grandpa catches all of this on his new video camera. It is a big deal to have a video camera. Grandpa is my favorite relative. He makes me feel special. He and Lou (his girlfriend) bought me a giant lion stuffed animal for Christmas. Windy got a Barbie. Mom gets a job as a waitress at Robie’s. She is gone a lot at night. Bump, my Dad’s friend, comes over and brings pizza. We all watch television. I eat chips and bean dip. I am lying on the pompasan chair. It is much bigger than me and I feel like a princess on a throne. I throw up bean dip all over the chair. Bump makes a big deal about how disgusting it is. Dad throws the cushion out on the back porch and leaves it there. I go to bed. I can hear Mom and Dad fighting when she gets back from work. “Why didn’t you at least hose it off?! I come home and I have to clean this up!” Mom is mad. Dad tries to come up with an excuse. I think he was embarrassed that Bump grossed out and he was lazy. I feel guilty for making them fight. Windy and I could hear them in the vent. We would listen together. Once we ran over to Mrs. Day’s house when they were fighting. She asked us if we wanted her to call the police. We say no. We go home. Windy and I go and take the cigarette butts out of the ashtrays. We hide under the porch and pretend to smoke

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thanks sunny babe, i have been checking your blog nearly every day. your entries makes my heart sing. sure love my little girl