Today, I did not give Oliver and Liam a spoonful of cherry icing... twice. That is unhealthy and I would never do that.
I also did not eat 2 spoonfuls of cherry icing. Never.
I did take the boys for a walk in the stroller. But I did not think of ways to blow up that stinkin hunk of junk stroller... as I was sweating in 50 degree weather as I struggled to steer the immobile wreck on wheels. I have way more patience than that.
I did not get onto Facebook like 10 times today. I do have a life, don't I?!
I did not fart in the bathtub last night and smell it. What am I, five years old?!
I did not act immature and get upset with Justin for having to work late tonight. I am a loving, kind, understanding wife... not an irrational, lunatic, on a mission to make her husband miserable.
I did not order out for dinner because I didn't want to cook. Again.
I would never do any of those things. And if any of you know me at all, you know that I am full of it...